If you’re one of those people, you’ve likely made a habit of checking the game’s popular subreddit regularly, but the frontpage may have looked a little different today. One of the most popular threads on the Elden Ring subreddit today is one where users are encouraged to share which of the quotes that appear in the game can also be used in bed. You might say this was inevitable, but we’re not here to judge. We are, however, going to select some of the funniest, most poignant contributions. Reddit user Grundy1399 picked one of the first things you hear Iron Fist Alexander, AKA Potbro, say in Elden Ring. You probably already know where this is going. “Come on, give me a good smack from behind with something nice and big. I’ll pop clean out. I’m sure of it!” Iron Fist Alexander has another, even more fitting quote, as user Oloziz reminds us. “Ah, you came, how delightful.” You even have to oil Iron Fist Alexander at one point as part of his quest. Yeah… maybe Potbro is Elden Ring’s kinkiest character. If you embrace the Chaos ending and become Lord of the Frenzied Flame, Melina will outright oppose you, and promise to hunt you down and kill you. When she tells you this, she says something that, unfortuantely, can be taken out of context, as user WestEmbarrassed5183 pointed out. “A pity. You are no longer fit.” Of course, we couldn’t leave everyone’s favourite Elden Ring waifu, Ranni the Witch, out of this. Towards the end of her quest, Ranni thanks you for your service after you offer her the Fingerslayer Blade. This one comes from user Iacsa. “You may leave now. It was but brief, but thou gavest me fine service.” Because being horny knows no bounds, user SpecialistIce2336 shamelessly brought the venerable War Counsellor Iji into this. When you first meet the towering blacksmith, he introduces himself and encourages you to put him to work. “These bones are old, but still able.” This next one had me chuckling the first time I heard it in-game, because I’m apparently a 14-yo at heart. I am clearly not alone here, and user Realistic-Feature-88 proves it. “Your fingers, please, your fingers…,” said, of course, by Finger Reader Crones. When fighting Godfrey at the end of the game, your prowess forces him to reveal his true form, the warrior Hoarah Loux. If you do manage to beat this second phase, he utters a few parting words, asserting your claim to the Elden Ring. Or, as user Spaghettisoulslike reckons, complimenting your mojo. “Brave Tarnished… Thy strength befits a crown.” Wrapping things up, we have to step away from official in-game dialogue for a bit to give it up to the Elden Ring community, which continues to run the “Try finger, but hole” joke into the ground in messages at every conceivable opportunity. Hit up our Elden Ring main page for more nonsense.
